Raw Dogger from Kimchi Games is back with his usual dose of adult humor, snark and the 40K wargaming week in review!
Hey You’ll! Welcome to another installment of This Week in 40k. I’m your host Rawdogger, aka Phat J Sleeze, aka Clownbaby ROK, aka fuck internet handles. It’s been a busy week, and in a way I feel that Games Workshop has really taken it upon themselves to give me A LOT of material to snark upon. Let’s get started, shall we?
This week we saw the leaked images of the upcoming Imperial Guard release, the Astra Militarum and mysterious supplemental codex Militarum Tempestus. We got a glimpse of not only the stupid looking short bus tracked thing but also got to see some of it’s riders, the new plastic Ogryn. Some of the worst models ever produced AND a $50 dollar codex? Sign me up! Why is Games Workshop changing the fundamental canon of the 40k universe by renaming factions and adding retarded looking models? FUCK YOU, that’s why! GDUB DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YO FAAAACE!
I can only hope that Games Workshop takes these micro transactions further. Just fucking go all out with it already, GW. Stop this pussy footing around. Let’s have a $50 Codex, followed by a $20 Dataslate for each unit (digital only, of course) and all of this following the release of the models so we can purchase them before knowing if you actually play tested the rules (you didn’t). Oh yeah, Hellbrutes still suck even if you can take a formation of them. Games Workshop, bringing you what’s next!
I don’t know about you but my life is about to get a lot easier. Just like any old chap, I would find myself spending hours upon hours of time selecting individual units from the Forgeworld web store in order to fill my shopping cart just to purchase the models needed to create my Horus Heresy army. If the rumors are true I won’t have to waste my valuable time doing this anymore, as Games Workshop is set to start selling Forgeworld models on their new web store. We know how they saved countless hours of pointless clicking with their One Click Army Deals (trademarked) and we can fully expect the same with the Forgeworld models. It’s especially helpful for people who like to masturbate while looking at Forgeworld models.
This week Games Workshop unveiled another series of books for a supplemental offshoot of the game that no one plays. Seriously, how many of you have gotten all excited to play a 40k Apocalypse game and then 2 hours into the first round of shooting you seriously regretted your life choices. Sucks to be you if your entire army got D slapped off the board during the first turn and your buddy drove you to the store. Fuck you Games Workshop. Instead of having your design team work on a playable Chaos Space Marine Codex we get another set of books that no one wants for a game that no one plays. Except Carl Tuttle.
Once again, while there was a lot more going on with 40k this week, these are just some of the things that interested me. Also, in case you didn’t notice, there were two masturbation jokes in this weeks article.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
Bitch some more. I am going to go play with my little plastic army men.
Thanks for reading, chump!
The new IG tank looks like an MRAP. Maybe Orks have been emplacing IEDs.
/hates MRAPS
Yeah, that thing is hideous! Maybe it will be better in RL, but the pics suck ass.
Most uncomfortable TC seat when wearing body armor. Fuck that midget designer.
Damn BFT all up in my shit!
Is masturbation references per article a new mathhammer stat i need to calculate?
Lol!
For one I loved the new hitler mobile lol
Really? Man, I think that that thing looks just totally ass in the pics. I reserve judgement until I see the actual model, but wow is that thing ugly in the pics.
LOOOOOOOUUUUUUD NOISES!
It’s just nuts that they can release the bad ass storm troopers w/ special forces caps and the sloth/chunk love child in the same release, time to convert some ogre kingdoms and Allie with white scars, that way I can forge a rock hard narrative and attack my opponents shitty walls lol…. Got dang Mongolians
This is the best thing I’ve heard all week!
Why don’t we just go ahead and rename FLG “All the GW bashing, all the time”
We don’t bash gw all the time. We were just saying how much we liked the crimson slaughter book.
Yeah if anything you guys seem pretty optimistic most of the time, but these last 2 “Week in review”s have been pretty full on GW bashes
Raw Dogger writes in a really snarky style, and these are his opinions. Feel free to disagree of course, but he is a guest writer here, he has his own blog as it says in the title. These aren’t necessarily the views of FLG. I find his stuff really funny personally, but maybe I get it because I know him in real life and get his humor.
Bassface7, next week I’m dedicating an entire section to you.
Come at me bro.
One does not set out to bash GW. One waits for the right moment. And GW gets bashed all by itself.
“Putrid potpourri of Lunacy”
*shakes head and walks off*
Another stroke of genius from the Master Debator himself. Hands up for a job very well done indeed.
Haha….sorry, that was bad. Well, time to go back to playing Solitaire on the computer.
How serious can we take a guy that bends over for GW constantly. Write you angry treatise, but you will keep buying and keep playing, so I’d say GW knows how to handle their business.
I’m the same way, we can smell our own, I hate my tau, too easy to win, do I rage quit and flip to some other game? no…I just take it in the tail pipe, and buy another army, 🙂
Bad attitude, lousy analysis. Really tired of reading stuff like this. Frankie and Reece bring a good vibes attitude, but also sharp criticism without sounding like miserable old beardos. I’ll make sure to avoid Rawdogger articles in the future.
Please bear in mind his article’s are meant as humor pieces, not as serious commentary.
Sorry its just hard to tell… there just so much misery, and griping in the online community its hard to tell the parodying of 40k hate/misery cult from the parroting of actual 40k hate/misery cult. I guess I should have realized this much snark couldn’t be sincere!
No worries, when I write parody article for BoLS, 2/3 of the readers miss the joke 100%, lol, it just sort of goes with the territory. But yeah, he is totally joking around, there is some truth to the comedy though, but that is what makes the jokes funny, IMO.
Totally agree man. There is definite truth in the comedy it is pretty dang funny when you realize he’s just joking. For example I think the Crimson Slaughter codex is real cool but I totally understand why people are like “Why on earth don’t they release legion books!”
I was just taken aback because Rawdogger seems like such a chill dude in the bat-reps and I don’t see legit rage/hate articles on here.
Glad I was just oblivious to the tongue and cheek approach.
I’m going to make sure to copy and paste my entire article into each of your comments.
Sorry dude- didn’t realize you were just joking. Just goes to show how easy it is to take this stuff to seriously. My bad!
So…. about that cultist data slate…. when you thinking it will be dropping because i love to spend me some $$$ that the FLGS never see.
^^^ dont worry for every $$$ they dont see from you the’ll get $5 from me.