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40K Stoat’s Center Breaking down the ITC GW Partnership

**The following article is satire**

Hello All,
As Reece’s right-hand Stoat I am happy to be able to announce some of the new details of this partnership. We have been waiting a while for this news, and now I can finally spill the beans on all the other changes that will be formally announced soon!

1: No non-GW models at events: While it does pain us to make this call we feel it is a net win for the community. No longer will we have to worry about advantageous proxies or cheaper 3rd party alternatives. If we all pay a higher price that will simply be giving GW more money to pour back into the community and improving the quality of the events they run. Unfortunately, if you bring one of these models to an event we will be forced to remove it… and then crush it in one of our new, branded, Model-Crushers that will soon be available on the web store (participants of the LVO got a chance to pick one up early).

2: No non-GW clothing and accessories at events: Given the changes above this is hardly surprising, and while it pains us, we see it in the light of the net long term benefits. Any non-licensed GW clothing, accessories, watches, tablets or other devices without the Warhammer+ app downloaded will be removed and join any illicit models in the crusher.

3: Expanded Model Showcase: As we want to highlight the true magnificence of the full GW range we will be require a few new standards when it comes to painting. Moving forward all armies must be battle-ready to participate in one of our events, and we have shifted our standards a bit. In order to be “battle-ready” a model must contain at least12 different shades of paint, all of which must be individually mixed from our existing citadel range. Furthermore, all armies must use the non-metalic metals technique. In addition, the these requirements all units must also possess at least one tactical rock on the base and all symbols or logos must be free hand (by removing the water-slide transfers we are able to significantly reduce our environmental footprint!) Any models that fail to meet the battle-ready standard will be sent to the crusher.

4: Expanded Lore Options: The 40k and Age of Sigmar universes is one that is deeply enriched by the stories told by GW and it’s players. As such, in order to participate in events, players will need to submit a one-page sheet of lore for each model in their army with less then 18 wounds, and two for 18+ wounds. The only exception are Tyranid players, who instead must instead submit one 10 page document (per detachment) summarizing their hive fleets, it’s history, differences from other hive fleets and future goals. Any model with an insufficient, redundant, simplistic, or confusing background, or one that in any way bears similarities to other pop culture properties will be crushed (for hive fleets this also means that a whole army may be crushed if the story bears too many, or too few, vague allegories to climate change).

Bay Area Open 2012

5: Expanded Event Offerings: As above we will be expanding the role of the lore in our events. As such all armies will use the crusade system moving forward. Players will be able to tell new exciting stories as their armies expand and grow over the course of the event. In order to account for the needed bookkeeping time requirements rounds will be expanded to 4.5 hours each as judges confirm the individual tallies of experience, roster expansion, requisition points and army special rules.

Wow I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to see what the future holds! While these changes may require us players to adapt we here at FLG believe that it will only help the growth of both the hobby and competitive scene moving forward!

And remember, Frontline Gaming sells gaming products at a discount, every day in their webcart!

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