Defiantly you face your opponent. He smugly informs you “that’s four wounds”. You look at your lone model on the objective.Your army is smashed but for that lone unit. If it lives, you win an epic battle of attrition that will be remembered in the scrolls of the ancients as a brilliant piece of generalship. If it dies, you face shame and ridicule from the scholars of future ages, or at the very least the first round of beverages postgame. You pick up your dice and…
A guest article from JT McDowell.
The all important roll. We’ve all faced it, we’ve all had it happen. One roll that snatches victory from the jaws of defeat, or guarantees your destruction at the hands of your foe. In these most important of moments, do you roll your dice differently? We gamers tend to be a superstitious lot; especially about dice rolls. In my many years of gaming I’ve seen many different rolling and dice rituals. Here are a few of my favorite rolls and rollers;
The no looky roll. As if somehow the dice will feel less pressure without you watching them roll. Poor little plastic cubes, so much is expected from you. So much pressure.
The dramatic crescendo roll. This is the one where you describe the roll you need and your voice gets louder and higher in pitch as you explain it ending in a Mariah Carey like solo right before you throw. After all, loud voices scare bad rolls away don’t they?
The excessive shaker roll. This guy just has to scramble the numbers up. At times it seems they are trying to beat the dice into submission against each other. Always seems to be shaking the dice an uncomfortably long time, and depending on viewing angle can go from G rated to NC 17 really quick.
The flourish roller. “I need a 4? Well watch this backhanded, double twist, three bounce, off the table, into the store owners coffee, oops sorry about that again really dont know what happened, I know third time today, it’s the table I swear it…” No Gambit it’s you.
The full on fanboy roll. Whether it’s a steely eyed “never tell me the odds kid” or a bloodthirsty “Blood for the Blood god”. Fluff inspired appeals to the dice gods can be truly glorious and even appropriate. However quoting the complete uplifting infantryman’s primer before each of your Commissar’s 42 saves, or full on bellowing WAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!! so loudly that little old ladies, birds, and children fall down deaf is a trip down the fanboy rolling hole you will probably never climb out of. Don’t worry, we can still hear you down there. We may even visit on occasion.
The one at a time roll. So you did the math and figured out the likelihood of rolling three 1’s in a row was 1:216 and you figured that because of this you’d throw one at a time. That’s not going to help you mate, probability is what you’re after. 1 in 6 each time. This one drives me nuts. It’s just annoying, it’s not dramatic, it wastes time and really makes me want to insert the dice bodily into my opponent. One at a time of course.
And the list really goes on. There are a few dice habits one should not get into however. Like picking up dice that score a hit rather than the dice that miss, let your opponents see the hits and drink in their sorrow! Or not allowing your opponent to use your crazy hot dice if they ask. It’s just proper etiquette; besides you can sacrifice a chicken and appease the spirits after the match to cleanse their unclean chi from your cuboids of destiny.
What about you? What crazy dice rollers and rolling rituals have have you seen or been guilty of? Post up below or tell me next time you see me. I’ll be the guy in the corner raising his voice dramatically whilst pirouetting and shoving dice up someone’s nose one at a time, all without looking.